Unsaid Thanks

I often under estimate how much my close-friends really care about me. It's really easy for me to fall into the false mindset of I'm the only one who cares about me and only I can help myself. I won't directly mention my problems to anyone. Instead, I try to find a solution or ride them out on my own. It's obviously a layover from my old, closeted self. Old habits die hard, I suppose.

At this point in my life, my close guy-friends, Xav, Mike and Tim, know pretty much everything about me. I'm not the secret-ridden maniac that I once was. They are aware of the old-me and of who I am today. Suffice to say, they also see through my personality and can tell when something that bothers me is left unsaid. In their typical, straight-guy style (yes, they're straight) they tend to dance around the topic of my grief, without saying it, and eventually get me to freely talk it out. Surprisingly, they pretty much always give good advice about the situation as well.


They know how I've been annoyed at the lack of gay guys, with which I can connect. Like everyone, I have turn-ons and turn-offs. Most gay people I meet I tend to not be interested in. Naturally, most straight guys I meet I find attractive. Without a doubt most of you understand how annoying that is. Xav, Mike and Tim seem to have separately taken it upon themselves to find a guy for me. Of course, none of them would ever openly say that. They do however engage me with questions to figure out "my type". What about that guy? Why not that person? Well I know this guy... Xav seems to be the most pro-active since he keeps talking about gay acquaintances of his and arranges to coincidentally hang out with them and myself at the same time. I would probably never tell them this unless I was super drunk (ya ya, I like to be indirect like straight guys), but I love them for it.

I am so incredibly lucky to have these people as friends.