Not Dead Yet

No-no, I'm not dead.

And no-no, the blog's not dead either.

I've been really busy at work. Unfortunately as time at work (at the computer) increases, my willingness to be in front of a computer when not working decreases. Sorry internet blog!

But things will change soon - oh, how they will change. I won't elaborate in this post, but I'll let you guys know real soon. I think I might even need to change my banner...

Over the last ~3 months I've written down a nice, fun list of things I need to blog about. Hehehe, plenty of good moments to write about as I play catch-up.

My blogging absence has gotten a bunch of you readers, in particular ones I did not know existed, to message me. I really appreciate the feedback and it's always an amazing encouragement to hear that someone enjoys reading all my crap! Thank you Same-Old-Faces and New Ones.

I'd Rather be Outside

My mind's going through a blogging boycott. I just don't feel like sharing right now. Taking all that time to attempt constructing an idea or an experience just seems too long. In takes so much introspection and internal review to think about one's own situation and then write out in words. Argh, I'm starting to feel like I'm just tired of gauging what I think and feel for an audience. The coming of spring, especially in the last few days, makes me want to be outside and living my life...not sitting around, using crutches and blogging about myself. Fuck thinking about my own circumstance.

Maybe the honeymoon period has ended and maybe this is the point that distinguishes those individuals who are happy to have briefly delved into the blogging world from those hardcore bloggers.

It would also help if I wasn't stealing this shawdy wireless connection from a neighbour, since my router/modem died last Friday.

Oh and yes, I do see the irony of blogging about how blogging disinterests me at this immediate moment.

Don't worry, this doesn't mean I'm quitting or taking a break - or at least taking anymore of a break than I've already been.

Secret Identity Revealed!....Repeatedly and Often!

I'm amazed by my poor ability to maintain by semi-private identity. Since I tend to write my posts all in one shot, and usually late at night, my proof-reading consists of a quick scan or two before posting and turning off my computer. In my eagerness to finish a post, I've forgotten plenty of times to replace my normal, popular name with my pseudo-name: Thomas (which is also a true name, but just less popular). I've fucked up plenty of times too with the pseudo names of my friends.

Eventually I re-read the post over the next half day (I love to review my posts - I guess I'm narcissistic about my writing) and catch the mistake...probably too late for people to have already seen it. Oh well, I'm not too scared of people tracking me down anyway.

Same thing goes for blocking out the eyes in pictures I post. Quite a few times I post the unedited versions (why do I have to save both versions in the same damn folder!?) and only catch that in a day.

I suck at mild secrecy.

What 13 year olds do

Although I am tipsy/drunk, this is not a drunk post.

It is an aristocratic post. It is culture in it's purest form. We are the privileged. This is power in it's natural shape of knowledge....
...or compelte bullshit - you decide.

-------

I have a new method of writing, inspired by a previous drunk post. Blue writing now signifies writing in French. Comme ici pute, c'est ma propre example.

The normal white font writing is the translation that follows. In accordance with the previous blue sentence, here is the translation that follows: Look at this slut, this is the example.

Why do I even need to include the French version, since probably none of you even care? Well, that's simple:
This is my blog. The French language is part of my culture. Fuck you. I want it to be here, so here it is.... Bitch.

Moving on to the topic at hand....


This is one of the most amazing things I have overheard. It happened while I was waiting for my bus to take me downtown. It came from one particular 13 year old girl, hanging out with her other 13 year old girl friends in a park:

«Tu dois avaler.»

"You need to swallow."

My interest is peaked immediately and I focus on their conversation.

«Les gars, ils m'aiment parce qu` j'avale.»

"Guys like me because I swallow."

Hearing this, I burst out laughing. The group pf girls all look over at me. I can't hide the fact I was over listening to them and I just start laughing, while staring at them. My bus arrives coincidentally right then, so I walk on-board and I keep looking out the window and laughing at the girls, while they give me dirty looks.

Awesome. Just awesome.

The Cast of the WindsThatYouRise Blog

It has come to my attention that it can be difficult for you, the reader, to remember names in my blog. Whether you're an old reader or this is the first time you've check out the blog, there is a whole lot (probably too many) posts that are relevant to understanding myself and the varied personalities/importance of the friends I reference. The purpose of this post is therefore a recap on who-is-who in the WindsThatYouRise blog.

Let me first assure you: from this point on, the cast of this blog is complete. No one else will be getting a real name from now on.

So who are these friends, who challenge me and I consider important enough to name?

Xav, Tim & Mike: the 3 close, straight guy friends I hang out with the most. Relevant posts about understanding them vis-a-vis to me are here: Unsaid Thanks, Lest We Forget and 3 separate posts for Coming Out to Tim, Xav and Mike.

Liz: close, straight female friend. She's just too awesome for me. I look up to her.

Alicia: close, straight female friends whom I went to university with, however now goes to school in Australia. She was/is very important for me relaxing in my gay skin. I see her when it's possible and we still speak relevantly with one-another.

Kieran: close straight guy friend, but in a different way from Xav/Tim/Mike. I also look up to him.

I also have my family, but I strictly refer to them as Mom, Dad, Oldest Brother and Middle Brother (with me as the Youngest Brother). You don't need to search too far for post about them. I have yet to tell them I'm gay, although I'm getting very close to saying it...

The most important member of this cast is, of course, myself. I'm not gonna go find all the relevant posts about myself, although I can point you in the right direction: the first 3-4 months of posting gives a pretty good back-story to my personality and my (ongoing) coming out.

What's in a Name

To add onto the post below post, have you ever wondered where the blog name Winds That You Rise comes from?

First, click the play button for this song called Undertow by the Stars and then read on:


When I first decided I wanted to make a blog, I had a tough time trying to come up with a name. I couldn't think of anything clever or original, so I kind of just skipped that step for a while and designed the other blog features. Fast forward a bit of time, I was listening to the above song and I pretty much decided to steal their chorus phrase. I definitely like the song, I like its meaning and I like that fact that my blog's name sounds like improper grammar. The artists also currently live in Montreal. It is very much a name that suits me.

1 Month of Blogging!

Today marks the 1 month anniversary of the WindsThatYouRise Blog!

Is it a real thing to celebrate? Fuck Ya!

The fact that I've managed to actually get a few readers makes me feel great. I like the idea of entertaining people, and I hope all of you have been enjoying reading these small recounts of my life. My intention is to keep writing, especially since I feel like I have so many things to write about.

Maybe I'm just weird (well ya, I'm nuts) but I get excited when thinking about things to write about. I even keep a little post-it, to remind me of few good topics/stories for future posts. At times, I can't even get my mind to quiet down for sleep because I get excited about a new idea or something I just remembered. I wonder if other bloggers get this same feeling? Maybe I'm still just the "honeymoon phase".

In terms of writing, I've never actually written for my own/others' entertainment. Some of my first posts lacked a bit of flow, but I feel that this blog has been a giant learning experience and a great success. For me, the whole writing process does take time: typically when I write, it takes me an hour to really put my thoughts and feeling into words. Then I either edit or just straight post the entry and come back to it later for editing. Pictures come after. Bad grammar, missing words and disjointed sentences are my curse.

At this point, I think I should go over a few things about my blog and the direction its heading:

- I much prefer putting up my own or my friends' pictures, instead of random photos from the internet. At the same time, I'd prefer to keep my friends and acquaintances as anonymous as myself. You can tell if the picture belongs to me/my friends because the people will have their eyes or part of their face covered. If you see a person's eyes on my blog, it's because I stole that image from the internet.

- Like above, most non-people photos that I post are also usually taken by a friend or myself. I think the irrational fetish post is the only entry that features mostly images I stole from the internet...just because it's awkward taking pictures of peoples' ankles or heads without them being bothered. Rule of thumb: if the photo looks slightly bad quality and that it wasn't made in some fancy studio, then it's probably mine.

- Pictures featuring my own face have only occurred once, in my random hand-puppet post. Nope, you can't tell much about me...other than I'm white and male.

- There will be more photos of myself shown, in particular one of me without my shirt on. No, I'm not just doing that because I'm narcissistic/fishing-for-compliments and want strangers from the internet to fawn over me (ok, maybe a bit...). The reason is that it's actually very relevant for the story of the stalker who followed me around/out of the university pool. Oh, I bet you can't wait to hear that one ;)

- 97% of what I say is true. My friends' names are changed, for the anonymity factor. My name is real, although different friends call me different names. If I say I did something yesterday, in reality I might have actually done that 3 days ago. All things I've written about did actually occur in my life. Horrible, wonderful and real.

- Some of you seem to have AIM and have given me your IDs or offered to add me. Sorry, but I don't have AIM right now. I'm considering getting it to interact with whoever wants to speak to me, but I'm not sure yet. Some of you I would definitely love to "talk" to in real time. I just need to decide if I would actually have the time to log on and speak to you meaningfully. I'm not gonna lie either, I'm kind of shy about directly talking with people who read my blog. I'll let you guys know what I decide.

- The posts will become more interactive. Up to now, you have all been mostly reading stories of myself, as I get you up-to-speed about me. As the events get more recent, it will be less "this is what happened" and more "this is the situation and I'm not sure what to do".

As my final note: I love responses. I love comments. I love emails. I love sharing. I love it when someone has an idea for my blog or posts. I love positive and negative feedback. I love you when you reach out to interact with me.

Thomas's Email: windsthatyourise@gmail.com