Snapped

The last few days have not seen my mind in a positive head space. My days were spent focusing on work or brimming with anger and frustrations at the lack of feet-healing progress. You can probably imagine that the rage has taken precedent over concentrating at the job. Luckily for me though, co-workers and customers seem to be really entertained by my bitter, sarcastic comments.

Yesterday was the last day I was going to stand for it though. I could not go another day of sitting on my ass, brooding and doing nothing.

So I got on my bike and peddled. Hard. I just wanted to punish my feet, and get this anger out of me.

I had forgotten that all this non-exercise has turns my calves and thighs to weak jelly. The Me of last-summer could have biked for 2 hours, without getting much of a sweat. The Me of today could last 15 minutes before the knees were sore.

I eventually got back home, lied down, and awaited what I assumed would be my well-deserved reward of pain in my feet. It eventually throbbed its way in, but you know what? It wasn't that bad.

Come this morning, my feet are a little more tender, but it just isn't that bad. Even though my family doctor have given me a run-around on why this pain exists (i.e. he have no clue what's the problem), this gives me some hope that I'm slowly getting better.


Upon hearing this news, Kieran has invited me camping next week.

So a choice must be made next week: I should stay home, relax and keep taking it easy, BUT I want to go camping.

We've been to the spot before...and it's amazing.

Wow, I missed that.

Today, I feel good. It's like everything is in my control and good things are coming. Friends and fun are around the corner and I don't feel like anyone could say No to any proposition I give them.

Yes, I very much like feeling this way.

There are two reasons for this mood:

One half is simply because I'm approaching some sort of naturally happy peak. Like everyone, some weeks are better and other weeks are worse. This is one of the better ones.

The other half is due to a conversation I overheard between my parents. From a separate room, I listened to them talking about my old gardienne, Gaby. She was my babysitter & cleaning lady that my family employed before I was born and up until I was 18. Obviously, as I got older she didn't look after me or my brothers, but instead she cleaned the house and prepared evening dinner for all of us.

Well, my Mom and Dad were talking to each other about how Gaby's been doing. She doesn't work anymore but we do keep in touch with her and take her out to dinner, since she was a very close part of the family for a long time. From her point of view, my brothers and I are like sons number 4, 5 and 6 to her, after her sons Joel, Yves and Yoland.

The important part of the conversation went like this:

Dad: Is Yves still with Serge?

Mom: I really don't know...

Dad: Hmm, I liked him...

From my point of view, I was wondering..."What? Yves was with Serge?....As in dating? Two guys dating? Yves is gay?". Then it all clicked.

When I was around the age range of 8-10 years old, Gaby once brought me out to visit Yves's country home for the weekend. I think I was just too young and, honestly, stupid to make the connection. Yves lived with a cool guy named Serge. Yves and Serge, two guys in their late 20s, slept in the same bed, in a giant house they had bought together and spent their evenings repairing. I mean...Wow! I met my first gay couple when I was a little kid and I didn't even realize it!
(Useless learning: Yves is actually a normal French Canadian name. In English, the pronunciation would be Eve. Yes, it sounds like a girl's name, but in French it's a guy's name. Serge would be pronounced Surge. So Eve and Surge).

What's more surprising to me is that my Dad and Mom spoke kind of positively about them and therefore about gay people. Instead of random, quasi-rude remarks they said something directly nice. For the eyes of this closeted kid, this is pretty awesome. There's hope yet! That's the other half of this reason for the great mood of mine!

Adding onto the Yves & Serge recollection: from what I remember they were pretty damn hot back then. I mean, if they were still the same age and looked the same right now, I would probably want to bang one or both of them. Who cares if we're quasi-brothers to Gaby! (Haha, ok, no I wouldn't do that...unless she were to never find out, hehe....)



To end this off, the photo makes me think of them. Whether they're together or not anymore, I hope they're happy.