I have drunken restraint

Wait - I need to stop myself.

I'm too excite by the things I want to say - OK, calm yourself Thomas...breathe....go slowly..

Oh my gods, OK, I have nothing of value to say but I want to talk. I want to say things.


Hhhuuh, hhuuhh,

J'ai tellement des choses à te dire!

Translated from French: "I have so many things to tell you!"

Ok, I will hold off.

I will use my sober (not so much right now!) judgment and make a post tomorrow afternoon, when coherence and common-sense are my friends.

Alright, bye till then.

PS: LION IN A COMA BY ANIMAL COLLECTIVE. It grows on you.

You're Gay

Maybe I should be bothered (or enraged!) by this, but they are my close friends so we can say anything to each other. Maybe I should be more enlightened and not so stereotypical? Whatever. I don't feel like anything, regardless how taboo or inappropriate, should be unsaid. We also drank lots of Pabs (hispterdom, here I come!)...also I am probably drunk while typing this....HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI:

Me: I've kissed women. It wasn't that great. The last time was when [a girl's name] was drunk and wanted to makeout. I assume she wanted me to do everything cuz I'm the guy...

I'm interrupted -
Tim: See! Thomas is bisexual! He enjoys doing stuff with men and women!

Me: Um, I don't think it work like that...

I'm interrupted again -
Xav: See, I've never really felt the need to have a big ol' cock in my mouth, stabbing me in the back of the throat. Call me crazy, but...

Me: I probably wouldn't say this to other people, but honestly I really like feel of having a cock in my mouth...

I'm interrupted again x 2 -
Tim: Ok, clearly this is proof that Xav and I are straight and you are gay!

Me: What the fuck! Come on, physical skin-on-skin does not mean someone is gay or not. I'm sure that if you got a blowjob, with your eyes closed, you would still get a hard on whether it's a guy or girl. Sex doesn't matter, just whether your body reacts or..

I'm interrupted x 3 -
Tim: - You're gay! You're gay!

Xav: - You're gay You're gay!

Me: Oh god, you're both morons...

Tim & Xav together: You're gay! You're gay!

----------

Some time passes, and we're walking to meet up with some friends at the a bar. Maybe I am tipsy - maybe not.

Xav: I'm not going to sleep with some girl if I don't feel like I could have a real relationship with her...

I interrupt -
Me: - You're gay! You're gay!

Xav: what? that doesn't make sense...

I interrupt x 2 -
Me: You're gay! You're gay!

Tim: No, I understand. Since meeting [my girlfriend], I feel so different about sex and how I I approach the situation with her...

I interrupt x 3 -
Me: You're gay! You're gay!

Xav: You make no sense!

Me: HAHA! How do you like it now, Bitches!



Final Note: HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI!

TextSleep-BonersFantasy

I've just came home from an early night of drinking again, so it's time for 3 random, shameless and short posts.
Unfortunately, I'm not drunk. Only buzzed. Or more like happy-tipsy, which is not bad.

MMmmmmm happppyyy tipppppssssyy.

hheeeeeeeehhheeeeeee

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Random #1

While at work/bobbing my head to good music, I received a text message from Fiona:

Just had 2 gin & tonics before class. Are you proud?

Haha, yes I am! I'm glad my delinquent behavior has seeped itself into my friends. As a wanna-be chartered accountant, Fiona getting drunk (yes, she's a light-weight) before a very important class is wonderful!

Down with society! (I don't know why...)
Down with sobriety! (Oh, I know why.)

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Random #2

I miss sleep-boners.

You all know what I'm talking about! There's no shame in it! It happens when you're tired, bored, whenever you're somewhat trying to stay awake. I used to get them all the time in university because I would get bored in class. My mind would wander, then my eyelids get heavy and I would have to struggle to listen to the prof.... Then bam! Sleep-Boner Time. A big, hard erection, that wouldn't go away. All I could do was sit back and enjoy.

They were always fun, because I would start fantasizing about hot guys and what I would do to them (or what they would do to me). Being half-awake and half-assleep was the perfect mindset for fantasizing. I would also sometimes move my leg a little from side to side, so that the head of my dick was rubbing against up and down my leg, with a nice slow pressure. Just up and down...no one in the room could tell...ah, it felt so good...

Before I became more important and active in my work meetings, I used to get very bored because I would be sitting "in the background" (remember, we have voice meetings only so that can't see me), with nothing to say. Since I had to stay awake and listen, I would get the sleep-boners all the time. Of course, since I was usually at home when this happened, there would be nothing wrong with my hand wandering down to my waist a bit...just to see if it could get things going...

Nooooo, I would never start touching myself while being payed to attend a meeting...

What sort of person do you all think I am!?

It's not like I could just mute my microphone...

And it's not like I'm faceless and they can't see what was on my 2nd monitor, which potentially could be extremely Not-Safe-For-Work....No, of course not...

I wouldn't do that!...I'm an oustanding young lad with no moral indecency...

Ha ha ha, yaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

------

Random #3

The best nights of sleep are when you slowly drift to into that deep quiet, while imagining fooling around with a really hot guy and then wake up the very next day still thinking about the same person.
Oh man, that's good.

------

Cheers to everyone with sleep-boners and fantasies while falling asleep and waking up.

OprahYogaGuys

I have three random things to point out. None of them are relevant to anything, however they are fun from my perspective. Also, it's very likely that I'm a little drunk while typing this so..uh...sorry for the grammar errors. (I can tell I'm drunk because I've started laughing to myself out loud, even though I'm alone in the apartment and it's perfectly silent, hehehehe)

Hehehehehe

Hehehehe

hehe

Ok, enough giggling like a school girl

--------

Random #1:

Obviously, yay Obama. Like the vast majority of Non-Americans, I'm happy he won. I watched his acceptance speech on CNN and I was genuinely touched. I've never listened to any other American presidential speech before, so I have no real base for comparison but I thought it was really well done and in all honesty I had a some tears up in my eyes. But I didn't cry. Manly men don't cry! GGrrrrr, I'll do something manly...eer....uh....kidding, KIDDING!....kidding?

Although I was fully in the moment for the speech, one of my favorite parts was when the CNN camera feed kept switching back to Oprah. Oh course she's black, famous and a huge supporter of Obama's, but there was really no reason for the camera to switch off the future American president for her.


Part of me hoped she would jump onto the stage, join in on the OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! cheers, then quickly shove Barack off the platform and transition the cheer into OPRAH! OPRAH!

OBAMA OBAMA OPRAMA OPRAMA OPRAM OPRAM OPRAH! OPRAH! OPRAH!

Then hilarity would ensue by her going crazy and then then she would start farting money like in the classic Mad TV parody. Just fast forward to 5:45 for the good stuff:

--------

Random #2

I tried Yoga this week. I think I like; I'm still in the deciding stage. I told my friend and he replied "You just had to try the gayest activity, didn't you? It better not stop us from playing hockey". Yay, for my friends I guess....

Anyway, the instructor might make the difference though. He was really nice when I walked in. As I wrote down my full name, he asked if my last name was common. I told him no. He answered that he thought so because he went to school with my older brother. Wow, what a small world.

At first I don't recognize him. My brother and I all went to the same school, but a 4 years difference is enough to mean I didn't know any of his friends. Eventually, I have this moment where it all clicks in my mind. Yes, I do recognize him! I remember him from sleep-away camp, where he and my brother both worked one summer, a long time ago. Know why I remember him? He dyed his hair blue that summer! Haha, my weird "fetish" strikes again!

During the actual class, he came in and stood shirtless in the front of the class wearing only some tight shorts, while giving instructions. Hmmm, I think I will enjoy yoga indeed.

-------

Random #3

Of course, when I drink and everyone else calls it an early night, I come home and go onto the internet. Here's what I've found tonight. Thank you to the Facebook group called "I'm Sexually Inappropriate with my Friends, But I'm Actually Not Gay."

Aww, Cute

Cheers to all the drunks on the internet tonight/this morning.