Backpacker Culture

Me: “Ya, our hostel in Hobart was right next door to a gay club. Then, in Launceston, the downstairs bar of the hostel was hosting some sort of homo-night.”

Alicia: “Hahaha, wow, Australia must be your gay awakening!”

Me: “Um, ya...well not yet...”

Alicia: “What do you mean?”

---------------

There's an odd balance between the backpacking experience and being gay.

As a backpacker, when you arrive somewhere new, as a complete stranger to the place and people, you meet lots of other travelers from different parts of the world. You’re eager to make friends, talk, hangout and so are they; you’re all in the same boat.

For the most part it’s all amazing. You share your experiences with one-another and also talk about your own little part of the world. Often you poke fun of one-another’s stereotypes: for example the French, Belgians and Swiss love to say how funny and cute the French Canadian accent is when speaking French.

I wanted to makeout with the German on the left.

When it comes to sharing your own experiences though, I only go so far. I hold back the parts of "My ex used to say that all the time. He would..." because people are offput by the idea that your gay. They want to meet new people and have fun, but most often you want to find people that are different in a non-threatening way. Who wants to put effort into challenging their own preconceptions of gay people when they can just ignore the gay person and instead take some shots with the hilarious British guys.

Has this bothered me much? Well, not really....but it's still there.

I've had opportunities to check out a local gay bar, but because I rented a car with some backpackers, I opted to hangout with them instead of walking away and risk explaining to them why they later saw me grinding with some guy. Would I really want to feel the tension of sitting in a car with 3 other people that feel awkard around me? Oh course not. Don't get the wrong, those temporary travel mates were awesome but I knew by their jokes that they weren't going to feel completely as ease with a gay guy.

The Dutch, the Swiss, the Italian

Would my view of this be different if I wasn't traveling alone but instead with a friend from back home? Who knows.

Shocked Awakening

I open my eyes.

Wait, when did I come back to my bed?, I think to myself.

I look over at my clock: 7:40am.

I look around my room in the hostel: everyone's asleep.

I look down at myself: I'm completely naked on my bed.

Oh god, it happened again! Another black-out, when drinking the night before and then waking up on my bed naked!

Just as I started to worry about what I might have done the night before (for god's sake, I'm naked on my bed, sleeping in a room with 6 other people!) a friend walks into my room looking for me. I pull the covers over my waist just in time.

Friend: Get up Jon, we need to catch the ferry! I was wrong, we need to be there fore 8 am, not 11 am.

Without thinking about what she's talking about, I reply:
Okay, I'll be out in a second!

She leaves the room and I start rummaging for clothes.
No time to think about what embarrassing/awkward/amazing things I might have done......God, I hope I didn't freak out the cute German guys I flirting with.

Goodbye Canada

One week ago I left Canada for Australia.

In my last week of canadian-hood, I was running around trying to see my friends as much as possible. The theory was that if we saw each other enough, we'd get sick of one-another, therefore making my continental absence for 10 months okay a little less noticeable. It didn't work - seeing so many people over such a short period made me want to hangout even more.

Tim, Mike, Xav, Liz, Kieran each got their individual moments with me. In each respective case, we just hung out their apartments. It was great.

I also had a party downtown, with over 30 friends and acquaintances showing up. The night was amazing, albeit my memory is disappointingly fuzzy. Everyone was feeding me drinks, so my brain sort of cut out around 1am. I do have a great image of sitting in a taxi, with Mike and Mike's Girlfriend of either of my sides, with Mike's Girlfriend holding her purse open in front of me saying:

"Ìf you need to puke, just do it in my purse."

She's a definitely a keeper.


Alicia and I confirmed the details of my arrival in Sydney. I'll be staying with her for a bit, and probably intermittently, while I'm in Australia. We're both incredibly excited to hangout together, as we used to do back when she lived in Montreal.


My last full day in this city was spent at home with family. We didn't do anything, but talk and hangout. Mom and Dad were mostly reminiscing of when they had gone on long trips. For my Dad, it's when he left England to attend grad school in Canada. He accentuated how he never actually went back home. My Mom spoke about he backpacking trips in Europe. She insisted, while holding back some tears in her eyes, that we needed to stay in touch otherwise she feels like we would lose the closeness we had developed since I moved back home.

They both agreed that it's going to very different at home, without me.

The morning of my flight, they both brought me to the airport and waited with me as I got the tickets and checked my bags. They walked me to the customs door, where only people boarding flgiths could continue. We hugged. I looked my Mom in the eyes and she started crying. I don't consider my self a crier, well not at least infront of others, but I started crying too.

Then I walked away and tried not to be sad - since I'm starting an amazing experience. It somewhat worked.

Last Minute Relationship

As you might be able to tell from my last post, I've accidentally started dating a guy. Funny how these things develop at the least opportune times, eh? I'm leaving for Australia in 14 days and yet I've already hit the mental stage of needing to consciously refrain from mentioning the guy-I'm-dating's name in every conversation topic with friends, regardless how unrelated it is, just because it makes me feel all giddy and gooey inside. Yup, I'm the most annoying type of friend-who's-just-begun-seeing-someone.

It just goes to show how making some new gay friends can be very helpful for meeting interesting guys.


I'm surprised by how well the last 3 weeks have gone. He likes mocking everything, including himself. I like mocking everything, including him...oh and me too. I'm not typically a physical touchy-feely type of person, but when we're not around others I just love to constantly have one hand on his arm, leg, back or...um, *throat clearing*...or parts... I'm going arbitrarily say that it's his Frenchness that brings it out all this cuddling. He also gets along great with my friends, and on his own, - so there's no need watch over him when we're in a big group.

Earlier this week I was in Quebec City with him, for his school. He has 2 days of school there per week, but spends every other day in Montreal with his friends and I. It's an odd routine from my stand-point, but hey, I like it. While he was in class, I explored the old city and worked a bit. Oh the perks of just picking up my laptop and working from where-ever I want.


That being said, it's not like I did much work. I mostly explored during the day and spent time with him at night.

Oh, and I mocked his gay magazine collection a lot.


He has known since the start that I'm leaving for Australia. I've held it in the back of my mind too, as a reminder to not fall too much for him and just keep it light-hearted fun. He'll be in Canada when I get back next fall/winter, so we already know we'll meet up again. No promises of anything beyond that though, which we're both happy with.

ETA 1.5 Months

Over the last 4 months, the local government of Montreal posted up adds all over the city for...living in the city. They seem to want people to stay in Montreal, as opposed to moving away. I don't really understand the point of the adds, since the city is definitely not suffering from a falling population. We are the second biggest city in Canada after all - if anything we're only getting bigger.

Quitter Montreal, mais pour aller òu? - Leaving Montreal, but to go where?

In my Not Dead Yet return post, I said I had some big news. Here it is: at the end of January/beginning of February, I will be experiencing a change of environment. It won't be permanent, but I definitely won't be back in Montreal, or Canada, for at least 9 months. In fact, I'm traveling to the opposite side of the Earth.

Where am I going? Australia.

Tired of not having some big goal to look forward too, I decide to head to that other former British colony. My 1-year visa has already been issued and I'm now in the process of deciding my exact plans whilst there. Alicia lives just outside of Sydney, so that will be my first landing point. It'll be amazing to see her again in person. From there, I'm not sure if I'll simply rent a place around Sydney, or if I'll travel around for a bit before settling. Two other options are that I'll stick to some quasi-nomadic routine of moving around every few weeks or I'll use Alicia as a home base and travel back and forth from there.

My job is following me to Australia too, although my boss already knows I'll only work periodically. While I've saved tons of money from living at home with my parents, this'll guarantee that I still make some money while away.

With me being less at work and out doing fun things, I assume that activity of this blog will go up. I've also been thinking I might need to change the banner to something more appropriate...like me riding a emu? Or how about this picture representing my Canadian invasion?


Hmm, maybe I'll have to find something else...

My friends' reactions to my plans is mostly joy and excitement. Alicia can't wait to have a North American visitor from her old life. Xav, Kieran and Liz are really happy for me. My plans seem to have triggered Tim into wanting a change as well, so he announced he's moving to Vancouver this summer (while I'm gone) with his girlfriend. Mike's reaction seems to be the exception: he's freaked out because he'll be losing me and later on Tim, the two main/close guy friends he has.

I stared off my post talking about the advertisements because I like to imagine that the city of Montreal posted up those Don't Leave Us adds just for me, as a last ditch effort to get me to stay. They really did coincide perfectly with the initiation of my plan. Seems that I'll unfortunately have to write a letter to the city saying I'm sorry my fair lady but I'm still leaving.

She shouldn't worry though, I'll be back to continue our love affair - though I do expect a whole bunch of Thank God You're Fucking Back posters.

Impromptu Boston/Provincetown

The best kind of trips are randomly proposed and immediately executed:

Oldest Brother's Girlfriend, at 1am: Hey Thomas, want to come to Boston with me tomorrow?
Me: YES!

And to Boston I went! My work wouldn't mind the sudden disappearance, especially since I left a note in the company calendar:
Thomas is in Boston - I ain't coming to work, bitches!


I was essentially on my own for the 4 days. Oldest Brother's Girlfriend was there for a conference all day long, each day, so I spent my time wandering and seeing the sites alone. As with my previous trip to New York & Washington DC, I think it would be a lot more fun to write about the random and stereotypical things that I have learnt on this holiday.

On an unrelated note, I don't like saying "I was on vacation" or "I'm going on a holiday" because I feel like my normal life pretty much one giant vacation in itself, but anyway...

Here we go!

- Boston is filled with the crazies. So many wacky homeless (?) people.

- I should smile more, as one crazy person pointed. Especially with my hair, as he also pointed out.

- The only single guy buying entrance to an aquarium, whilst surrounded by families with young kids, makes me wonder if people think I'm a pedophile.

- Boston has an excess of uggoes, also known as ugly people. Oldest Brother's Girlfriend also really noticed that.

- An exception to the above rule is most people running in the parks along the river. All beautiful men run along the river, shirtless.

- I could live in the downtown Boston Public Library. It's like a castle.

- Provincetown (CapeCod) is possibly the gayest town ever. If the world would be reversed so that gays were 90-95% of the population and straights were 5-10%, all places would look like Provincetown.

- I'm in love with the sand dune landscape of Provincetown.


- Only in a super ultra gay town beach would you ever hear a 35 year old man exclaim loudly in the bitchiest voice:
"Argh, I have sand in my foreskin"

- Awkward looks were shared by all strangers, after the above comment was heard.

- There's something really cute about seeing two 50 year old women walk down the beach together, and one slides her hand in the other's so casually, and it remaining so normal.

- It's surprisingly easy to fall asleep behind a wooden crate, on the top floor of the hydrofoil boat, on the way back to Boston from Provincetown.

- It's fun to visit Harvard, whilst mocking it at the same time. This is accomplished by taking stupid photos of yourself with Harvard as a backdrop. Saying "OOOoohhh, Look at meee! I go to HAAAAAARVVAAAAAAAARD" also helps.

Too bad you can't see my eyes. It completes the photos.

- "Pffft, you're just jealous you didn't go there!" Yes. Yes I am a bit.

Couldn't Have Asked For More

Camping with Kieran was the best choice I could have made.

Turns out the place we had found last year wasn't nearly as good as this place. 5 hours from Montreal, lost on some backwater dirt roads, untouched by electrical line, running water, we found a a perfect little piece of natural heaven. God, I love the Canadian Shield.

And to think, had we chosen to not ignore the Pont Barré: Danger! (Bridge Closed: Danger!) sign warning that the wooden bridge was highly unstable, we would have never found the place!

There were giant, gaping holes at each corner of the bridge.
Someone had tried to make their own wood & nail repairs too.

There was a perfect space for our tent and fire. Just beyond the threshold of plants was the wonderful river, with giant polished rocks, fed by a mini-waterfall and double set of rapids. We even had a natural sand beach and cliff overlooking the area.

Looking out at the upper rapids

Our first thing was to throw on our life jackets, jump into the river current and ride down some small rapids. If you lie back, with the tips of your feet sticking out of the water (use those abs!) you slide straight over the rocks...well usually. My ass bounced off one and is still a bit sore.

View from the cliff

The whole two days were spent eating hotdogs on the fire, exploring our land, reading and hanging out. I'm pretty sure Kieran thought the no-stress getaway was a success.


We decided to leave a little marker to show that we had been there: we made a [very crappy] Inukshuk. I realize that the region has no relation to this Inuit cultural creation, and that ours is a white man's poor attempt at making one, but I still love it. It's named Sammy; Sammy the Inukshuk.

You probably need to click on the picture to really see it...

I'm now sun burnt, a little chewed up from bugs bites, but very happy. My feet also didn't hurt one bit while I was there.

This place is going to be a wonderful little secret for our group of friends.

A Camping We Will Go

And camping it is!

Let's all assume that because Justin commented on my previous post, absolving me of the potential guilt of not letting my feet rest at home, this little camping adventure is justified. Thank you Mr. Guy From Chicago!

Kieran has told me that the theme of the next 2 days will be no stress. It shouldn't be too tough, since it's only us two. For some reason, no one else has a job that's as flexible with getting time off as us...suckers.

Kieran's university undergraduate convocation passed (that means he graduated!), so one would think that he'd have nothing much to stress over. Of course that is a mistake, because his severely depressed-closeted-wacko Dad decided not to attend the ceremony or even recognize Kieran for the last few months. Unfortunately timed uprisings of crazy have also stricken other close friends/family members/girlfriend of his, so he just wants to get away for two night.

I'll make sure that Kieran has no choice but to relax. If not, it'll be another axe to his head.


...I'm only somewhat joking about the ax part.

To Austin

Bright and early tomorrow morning, I will be on an airplane to glorius Austin, Texas/SXSW/visit oldest brother! I cannot wait for a bit of warmth, maybe even get [an extremely light] tan, enjoy some music and catch up with my nameless family member. I'm a little bummed that I'm spending St. Patrick's day in airports. Traditions has all my friends getting together and going wild. Oh well, I guess the low-cost plane ticket was worth it.

When I told the guys about my trip, Xav yelled out straight away:

Oh man, SXSW? You're gonna get so much ass!

Surprised by that comment, I gave him an odd look with:

You know you're talking about me right? The guy who notoriously unsuccessful at hooking-up or dating anyone?

Looking away in thought, his response was:

Oh ya.

I'm not gonna lie though - the idea is on my mind. Even last's night's dream was relevant. It was me and some kid from Manitoba talking, and all I was thinking in the dream was that he would shut up and we'd fool around. So we did. And then we attacked some people and ate some brains because we were also coincidentally zombies. Did I forget to mention this dream was only mildly relevant to me being horny? OK, maybe ever-so slightly relevant...

I have no idea how this could potentially happen since I've also stereotypes Texas to be pretty unfriendly toward gays. Two guys making out at a concert here? Somewhat normal. Two guys going tongue-to-tongue there? Hey, let's go find a shotgun...

I haven't forgotten about the more important purpose of this trip though. I'm gonna get comfortable talking with Oldest Brother. Try to figure out how to make us reconnect, per se, and I am going to tell him I'm gay.

Honestly, I haven't really thought about how the situation will work out, but I just feel really confident. If you're a longtime reader, you know that none of my family knows I'm gay. This would therefore the first step.

Ya know what? I feel so ready for this.

To Austin!

Oldest Brother: Sure, it would be great to have you down here in Texas. When are thinking of coming?

Oldest Brother

Me: Well, I'm aiming for mid March, that way I can also check out the South by Southwest music festival when I'm not working or zooming around the city.

Oldest Brother: Oh nice. I got here in Austin right after the festival last year. Everyone tells me it's insane.

Me: Hopefully we can also go biking in the desert or rock-climbing or something too.

Oldest Brother, in his natural environment

Oldest Brother: Ya sure, just remember to bring your gear. Do you have your flight yet?

Me: No, but they have decent prices across the board I guess...still have to switch in Toronto though. Argh, stupid Toronto.

I'm sorry everyone, it's my duty as a Montrealer to hate Toronto.

Oldest Brother: Oh god, don't switch in Toronto. They must have flights that go through Chicago or Detroit or some other place. US customs are a lot better in American cities. In Toronto, customs are so damn slow and annoying...kind of like most Torontonians.

See, he gets it too!

I'm super excited to visit Austin, South by Southwest and by brother. Like I've said, traveling, and the planning of, both excites and centers by crazy personality. Our phone call made it obvious we're not used to talking 1-on-1, but I'll force myself to get into it - I gotta make an effort after and start somewhere. I briefly mentioned it once before: I think I'll also come out to him too. That would make a good start for my later goal of the rest of the family.

The only question that remains is which airport should I layover in? Chicago or Detroit? (I.e. which airport is more fun/bigger to roam around?)

So really, I didn't do anything

Instead of going over what I did, from hour to hour and day to day, of my week-long trip in Washington DC and New York, how about I just list the good things/fun things I noticed, overheard or learned?


Ya, I think that would be the best idea too.

Don't take anything I say seriously. Some of what I say is just a split-second, baseless observation...kind of like when some DC friends visited me here, in Montreal, and stereotyped the tiniest things to being cultural norms in the city: like everyone eats green apples, because they saw 4 people doing that when they first got off the train.

Okay, well, here we go:

- In DC, people only wear black coat/pants combos. They might have been born with them.

- NY is always cold. Subways, restaurants, lobbies, hostel rooms, cafes...no one uses heating.

- I get overlly excited when I find unintentionally-Canadian themed paraphernalia in the US.


- According to some gay man, when I'm bored and rudely listening to other peoples' conversations: "I have this theory about Black butts and German butts: they're shaped the same and that's why we both like Hugo Boss".

- The Manhattan "express" subway trains can go blow themselves.

- The DC metro makes me feel like I'm in the future.


- A Girl: "Oh, I'm sorry sir we're all out of soup... Ooohh, it looks like I just broke your heart." Yes. Yes she did.

- Calzones are fucking delicious.

- Crazy people live in "fenced-communities" in Georgetown, a.k.a. Alicia's parents.

- I should have never left Brooklyn.

- All Japanese backpackers yell out, in an extremely stereotypical accent: "Oh No! He is Sumo!" when I lift their bags up two flights of stairs, since they apparently have no muscles.

- I am never a threat, according to the US border guards. The Latina woman sitting near me, however, is always a threat to national security.

- Free Los Campesinos! concerts are extra special.


- People who commute 2 hours in the morning and then evening, to get to/from work in New York, are nuts.

- I have no shame about being creepy and taking a [bad] photo of an unsuspecting stranger, whom I think is hot. What got me? He has a an even layer of stuble, he was pretty intense into reading his book, and had eyes that made he look like a lost puppy. So cute.


- Everyone outside of DC hates everyone in DC. Vice-versa as well.

- Large amounts of fun can be had with 2$ kids gloves and a giant, hollow chocolate Santa for 95% off.

Pass-Out/Feet/DC&NewYork

Soooo...today I kind of almost passed out in yoga. I don't really know why...maybe I hadn't drank enough water since last time. Maybe I'm a little more tired than usual. Perhaps, it's because I had never gone to a session at this particular time and experienced the massive amount of heat that a small room gives off when packed with 40 bodies. Unattractive bodies to boot, unlike at my normal hot yoga sessions.

1 hour into the session, I just stayed lying down but my arms started to shaking a little and I felt like I was gonna lose it. I put my arm up, get the instructor's attention so that she comes over to me.

"I don't feel well. I would like to leave."

Yes, I have to ask to leave since they otherwise don't let you. No, I don't know how they would actually enforce that rule.

"What does it feel like?"

"It feels like the time I had heat stroke in Croatia"

"Okay, you can go."

And so I walked out to the lobby, with my tail between my legs, a feeling like a wuss since I couldn't take the heat (pun!).

On the plus side, I got to overhear a wonderful moment between some random guy, who was definitely missing a few marbles in the head, and the awesome multi-colored dyed hair lady who mans the desk. Have I mentioned I like that lady? Have I mentioned she has hair dyed blue, pink and yellow? Yaaa.....I'll assume you will understand the connection there.

Awesome Girl: "Hi, can I help you?"

Odd Guy:" Wjekjdje fkdsjhds dsas fkdkd flgtoiyt"
Motions to open the door to the yoga session, from which I had left.

Awesome Girl: "No, you need to wait until the session is done in 15 minutes before going in there"

Odd Guy: "Jiuurs aiirr isd booterrrull"

Awesome Girl "uuuhhhhhh.... *glances at me* I'm sorry, I don't understand."

Odd Guy: "Yoouurrr hhaaaiirr iiisstt Beeee-ootifuulllll."

Awesome Girl: *smile* "Um, thank you." *glances at me again*

Old Guy: "Caann I tooouch yooor feeeeetttt?"

Awesome Girl: "No. GET OUT OF HERE NOW."

The guy walks out quickly. Awesome Girl is trying to hold back a laugh. She then looks at me.

Awesome Girl: "I'll be right back..I..just need to go in here."
And she walks into the women's change room. Then I hear her almost choke to death with laughing...although I'm pretty sure there might have been a little (a lot) of disgust mixed in there.

Ah, such a wonderfully random.

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In unrelated news, I'm heading to Washington DC, New York and...apparently Baltimore, since Alicia wants to drive there. I didn't think the times could work out, but all the trains seem to be going in sync, so I'll be leaving Montreal Saturday and travelling all day, just so that I can be in DC by 2am. As it should be obvious, I'm gonna hang out with Alicia for 3 days, and then take the train to New York and stay there for 2 night on my own, before coming back to good ol' Canadia. I hope to smell like real Americana when I return: hotdogs and green 1 dollar bills ever-so-lightly doused in cocaine.

While in New York I'll be working in cafes, but also checking out some stuff...and by stuff, I mean I have no idea where to go or what to see. I don't have any friends there - or at least not anymore. One sure thing though: I will not see a Broadway Show, nor will I visit Time Square nor will I go to the Statue of Liberty. I think I'll want to check out the Gay Village...also called...Greenwich Village (?).
Side Note:I am notoriously bad at finding "gay areas" in cities I visit, so hopefully I'll find it in NY. This past summer, when I was in Vienna, I didn't even notice that my hostel was directly next to a gay nightclub, nor did I notice any guy-guy/women-women making out, which everyone else in the hostel did see. I even spent one day trying to look for the gay village there. I EVEN USED THE INTERNET AND I COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING.


I think I'll be good for "finding the gays" this time. I am almost sure there might be 1 or 2 gay people in the above boxed-in area, hahaha. It can't be that hard to pin-point 'em, right?.......RIGHT?

If you want any advice of what to see/where to go in New York, I would LOVE your advice.