On Gayness and Swedes

Every summer, a Swedish friend of ours jumps on a plane headed for Montreal to visit his sister, brother-in-law, nieces/nephew, cousin and us for a month or two. We first met him about 5 years ago through his cousin (a.k.a. one of our friends) at a big weekend party. Since that first party, he's become a regular in the gang when he's in the country.

Oh Sweden - the land of hot blonds (and brunettes!) and vikings

Although his English is freaking amazing for anyone who learns it as a second language, he sometimes has these weird ways of acting or reacting. I've always assumed these oddities are related to the differences between our culture (that of the general people in Montreal/Quebec or Canada+US) and that in Sweden. I know some of his jokes and expressions are definitely lost in translation...

Soon after the first party, so many years ago when we got to know him, the question came up: do you think he's gay? No - I didn't ask the question first. I'm pretty sure it was probably Mike. None of us were particularly sure. He never mentioned any women in stories or him finding anyone particularly hot. Mike seemed convinced of the Yes-he's-gay answer. Xav agreed with Mike, on the lines of "I felt like he was looking at me too deeply, as if he was checking me out sometimes". I was actually on the No side with the reasoning "He's not gay, he's European!" (Sorry to any Euros reading this, but from an American/Canada standpoint a lot of physical mannerisms and styles Europeans tend to come off as stereotypically gay from our perspective. If it makes you feel better though, most people in Montreal come off as gay to non-Quebecois, for the same reasoning...). Tim took my side with the Not-gay point too.

For years we lightly joked about the possibility. We conveniently ignored the fact that he has accidentally filmed his female cousin skinny dipping and running around naked (Note: His cousin, Kieran and I initiated the streaking), although I think that relates more to the blood-relation factor than the ruining-our-gay-joke-suspicions.

This summer came round and the Swede was back here again. The big weekend summer party happened again. New faces at the party joined in on the joke and took the Not-Gay and Gay sides. It seemed like the two sides would be at a stalemate, but the Swede had something else in mind.

On the first night, we taking cover in the cabin from the rain and wind. I was in the main room, sitting crossed-legged on a bed, whilst talking to a group of people, the Swede included. We had already drank plenty by then. The Swede casually walked over to me, sat directly in my lap, while leaning on me. I put my arm around his side, even though I was adamantly chanting in my head:

"DON'T GET A BONER. DON'T GET A BONER. DON'T GET A BONER."

I suppose denial is powerful force in me, because I still kind of stuck to the Not-Gay opinion. Maybe all Swedish men sit in each others' laps - how would I know!? He got up after a few minutes and I, nor anyone, said anything about it...well, at least not that weekend. The Gay side gained a few more supporters.

Fast forward two week later: a big group of us are enjoying socializing in a bar. I'm chatting with some friends at a table, the Swede included. He's sitting on a stool and I'm standing next to him. He casually pulls me closer so that I'm sitting on me. The Not-Gay side officially loses all support.

A few of my friends suggested I should have hooked up with him, but I really wasn't interested. Why might you ask? Like I've said, I'm all for hook-ups, but I just got the odd impression that he would become romantically attached to me somehow. Again, maybe its the lost-in-Swedish-translation thing again but I got the feeling that I would become his focus whilst he was in Canada, this year and maybe futures ones when he came back for the summer. I just didn't want to chance ruining a friendship by having to intentionally distancing myself from him.

A small part of me does think I should have just said "fuck it" and made out with him though.