Sunday, December 14, 2008

From Blog to Real Life

All the posts I've written in this blog have been recollections, comments or reflections on/of my life. Its been pretty much a one-way path: what happens to me day-to-day in 'the real world' decides what is put up here.

Well, it's now time for me to write about the newly formed blog to real life pathway: how my blog has actually caused changes in my everyday world.

It's been almost 3 months since I've started writing, for the first time on the internet as well as the first time for my myself (and appreciation of others). Apart from Talya, no one in my life knows that I have a blog. Even when I do see Talya, I don't ever really talk about the whole blog experience. That doesn't really bother me much. This is all such a personal reflection that I don't exactly want my friends to be able to have that window into me. Ironically, I don't mind strangers knowing this stuff about me since I feel protected by the fact that I don't actually know any of you. I'll gladly stick to secretly blushing when I hear a friend abstractly ask, "What weird type of people actually blog about themselves?"

Since starting this endeavor of solidifying my thoughts on a virtual piece of paper(or I guess I can call it a hobby, although that makes it sound lame), I've become better at explaining my view in a normal conversation with friends. Since I've already gone through the effort of ordering my thoughts on a particular subject, it becomes so much easier to clearly restate it. Sometimes I even feel like I'm reading from a paper, because I don't need to try very hard to recall all those little details. Even the posts that lack a bit of coherence give me a base-level structure for explaining thoughts and things.

I've also gotten significantly better at remembering things about myself, whether stories from my past or little moments during my day. For example, I had kind of forgotten that my guy-friend asked to me to join him and his girlfriend in a 3-some, until speaking with someone recently. If someone asks me to tell them some stories now, I can actually immediately remember plenty of zany, beautiful, sad or funny things off the top of my head. Yay for improved memory! When also does something I see as significant or memorable, I even make mental notes now to potentially write about it in this blog. Maybe that's a bit too obsessive or sad, but I think it's awesome!

My blog has also given me a good perspective on myself and when I'm feeling depressed. By tendency, I reread my posts and make edits up to 2 days after they're written. My revisions have made it painfully clear that whenever I feel down about myself, I tend to be pretty incoherent and illogical. The circumstance that makes me sad is in itself irrational, but I can never tell that in the moment (like this stupid post about if I was different). Being able to peer into that past situation, through my writing, comforts me. It lets me realize that I shouldn't think that way and that hopefully I'll grow out of it.

As a final note, I find myself carrying my camera more often these days because I want to get fun pictures to throw up here. Nothing I take is ever good quality, but it's just something I appreciate. I think for you guys, I should probably try and get better at walking up to random hot guys, asking them to take thier shirts off and take picture of them, haha. I think maybe you'd all enjoy that, since clearly all guys in Montreal are beautiful.

Cheers.

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