Bisecting Bisexuality

While perusing a well-liked internet forum today, I came across an interesting topic. The subject of the conversation was bisexuality and the prejudice that people often have for individuals who identify as such. Although I didn't personally find that the contributors had anything new or controversial to say, the thread did get me linking my thoughts, the thoughts of my friends and my personal experiences.

For those who hadn't realized or thought about it, a large proportion of gay and straight people do ridicule individuals who self-identify as bisexual. Often, bisexuals are dropped into either stereotyped category of 1) people afraid to simply say their gay, or 2) women who simply want attention from men. Why do people think that? Well, as said before they're stereotypes: although far from always true, they unfortunately do hold some truth for a lot of individuals. God knows, two female friends of mine used to love making-out for a greasy crowd of Italian clubbers.

Tim and Xav's opinions don't stray from the above viewpoint. They understand a person being attracted to the opposite sex and they get that a person can be attracted to the same sex, but the idea of attraction to two (or more than one gender) just doesn't make sense. If ever Xav's in earshot of someone saying "I heard [Guy's Bi]", he'll yell out:

BULLSHIT, HE'S GAY.

For the idea of a bisexual woman, he'll scream out:

BULLSHIT, SHE JUST WANTS ATTENTION.

I've thus far written out the matter-of-facts about hating on bisexuals, without putting my own thoughts in too much. Although I can't emotionally understand liking guys & girls, I believe that people can feel that way. It's not like I emotionally understand being straight, or that my straight friends emotionally understand being gay, but I recognize that existing so how can I really deny bisexuality. Unfortunately, all too often, I fall into thinking the same above stereotypes and a subtle prejudice against bisexuals.

If presented with a choice of dating 1 of 2 guys, whom are essentially twins in terms of looks and personality, except one is gay and the other's bi, I would choose the gay one. In fact, if they weren't twins at all, I would automatically be hesitant in pursuing the bisexual. Although I'm being prejudice by admitting that, I feel confident in expressing this. At least I aware I'm being unfair and that it's not right. I think the repulsions stems from my own insecurity: if I became involved with someone who's bi, I feel like he'd likely leave me for a woman because society makes it easier for him to follow his attraction to women over men.
(As a side note, I'd say that's why so few guys identify as bi either. People insecure about their sexuality would see themselves as being straight+gay. There's no advantage with being gay, so they'll hide that and that makes them straight and "normal").

It's kind of weird that I'm spewing all this out as theory, because I've known 2 bi guys and been involved with one of them.

The first one I had a love-hate friendship with, in my second year of university. In an attempt to get to know him better, since I thought he was really cute, I asked him all about himself and his bisexuality. He told me that it felt completely different, being with a guy or a girl. He said his attraction was equally and constant for both genders, but that when he got to university he pretty much exclusively only hooked up with guys because everyone around him immediately assumed he was gay when he said he was bi. None of the girls would consider him a potential date or hook-up and so he just went along with that. It bothered him that people would actually refer to him as gay. In all honesty, I was definitely one of those people. I considered him purely gay.

In reference to the 2nd bisexual, I actually dated him. If you're a WindsThatYouRise reader from the beginning, you might remember him as Guy from the Abandoned Building (oh no, I said I would never mention him again! Oh well.). We never really spoke much about his sexuality, but it was generally known by all his friends that he was bi. Actually, I'll take that back. As Xav worded it perfectly, it was known by everyone that "[Guy from the Abandoned Building] likes who he likes". There was no real distinction of sexuality - which is interesting, especially because Xav accepted his non-clarification of sexuality where as he would not accept someone self-declaring their bisexuality.

Although in the beginning I never knew whether Guy from the Abandoned Building was gay or not, the situation just cleared itself up on its own. Had I known he was something other than gay, straight from the beginning, I might have avoided him (as I referenced in the middle of this long post). I'm therefore glad I didn't know anything about him in advance.

Sorry guys, I'm losing focus so I can't bring this post to a nice neat conclusion. Um... don't hate on the two-gender lovers?