La Biere

Octoberfest Party! It was nice and tame, which is a perfect introduction to Halloween on this coming Friday. I sat on the ground with my friends, ate some delicious sourcrout and German sausages, while trying to convince a ginger-girl that her hair is proof she's aligned with the devil and should be institutionalized. This was her friendly reply:

The smile makes it friendly

I wanted to wow the audience at the party, so I tried to get myself some cheap lederhosen and German beer. The dress-up idea failed and the beer department wasn't particularly easy either. It's oddly tough, from my perspective, to get non-North American beers here in Montreal. I happened to be near a massive alcohol store and decided to look in there for some German beer. Of everything they had, I only found 2 brands of German beer hidden in the very back of the store. I think they had maybe 10 bottles in stock, total. It's the same situation for other Europeans beers, Dépanneurs just don't carry them much. I think I've seen 4 Belgian beers once. Yes, you should all become antiquated lovers to Belgian beer.

Looking through all the beer did make me awfully proud of my home though - Quebec has quite a massive selection of home-grown beer. I have only hit the iceberg, in my efforts to sample all of them. I don't know if this occurs elsewhere in Canada or the US, but most Quebec beers come in large bottle sizes, called 40s (40 ounces or 1.2L). It's the perfect size for carrying outside and drinking on the streets or in parks. Oh liberal Montreal police force, I love your tolerance of me and my beer.

Quebec beers have two more wonderful oddities about them. First, the alcohol content falls in the ranges of 5 to 12%. So two 40s later, you are very happy or very vomity, in case you're 16 years old and drinking in a part near your family's home (oh the memories). Second, Quebec beer names are by far the most fun, morbid or odd. Names are either A) religious references B) french swear words (which in French-Canadian or Québécois culture usually is about religion anyway), C) about people dying, or D) about magic and elves.

Let's go through some delicious examples!

Maudite - translates to "The Damned" or . 8%. Named for the story of some fur trappers who wanted to get home for Christmas, so they sold their souls to the Devil, who then flew them, in their oh-so-Canadian canoe, home...and then straight to hell. Wee!

Don de Dieu - translate to "Gift from God". 9%. Yay, for boats and fish and the New World and beer.




La Fin du Monde - translates to "The End of the World". 9%. Conveniently, the end begins in Quebec.


Éphémère - translates to...I have no idea. But, it has to do with fairies making beer. 5.5%. Mmm, delicious, it tastes like apples.





Coup de Grisou - translates to "Oh God I'm blind forever!" Based on the picture, it might be meteor related. 5%. Tastes like fruit and spice.

I could go on forever with wonderful Quebec names, including "Brave boatmen who fought the storm but all died anyway", "Hell horse coming to take your soul" and "Knome who makes beer", but the list would be endless. All at 8%.

It's only in French you can give anything a name and people will like it. A good bar I go to now is "Dieu du Ciel", which means God In The Sky. A favorite other bar, back in CEGEP, was "Foufoune Electrique", which translates to Electric Ass/Pussy. Come on, don't you wish you had these names where you lived?
Woo Quebec!