Finally.

Wow, it's been at least 2 weeks since I've reminisced about younger, gay me. The last post I wrote involved my unsuccessful attempts at making some gay friends, but I eventually end up meeting someone, whom I pretty much immediately began dating. You can find that post here.

Like with most dates and relationships, that one ended pretty quickly. He pretty much used me a threw me aside after a month. Looking back, I see now that we really had nothing in common other than wanting to take each others' clothes off. We never even left his apartment!

It was tough on me, to say the least. Not only did I go through losing my first luv (not love), but I also went from my first engaging, albeit superficial, connection to the gay world to being rejected and alone again.

Fast-forward the shitty summer of 2006 and I was back at university for my last year.

A little damaged from being used, but a little-less shy, I tried putting myself out-there even more. Into the beginning of October, I decided check out a Queer Conversation group hosted at my university, by the same Queer Group that I had found pretty useless and frustrating for the last 2 years. I didn't tell anyone I was going - not because it had to do with being gay but because I had the stereotype in my mind that only losers would go to anything like this.

By my thinking, it turns out I'm a loser because I was incredibly glad I went.

There I met 3 really cool guys and an awesome woman, with whom I got along really well. We formed our own mini-group and went out to The Village for plenty of nights of fun. They realized I had never gone there so they really enjoyed showing me all the good bars and clubs.

There was an unsaid recognition between us all that I was the baby of the group. In terms of age, they were all older than me: I was 21 and they were in the 24, 25, 30 and 41. In terms of personalities, I was (and am still) relatively immature. I was easily impressed with the whole Gay scene and was always interested by the gay-related things they talked about. They had all come to terms with their own sexualities long before (or in case of the 41 year old lesbian, very long before!) and were very comfortable with themselves. By contrast, I wasn't out to my closest friends, parents and still had some trouble talking about things related to my sexuality with other friends. This gay gang kind of acted like older siblings to me, because they understood I was still figuring myself out and getting comfortable. They also never wanted me to have a shitty time in the bars.

One of them in particular would become one of my future roommates, after the Christmas of that year.

Before we would be roommates, though, we would end up fooling around. I knew he was attracted to me when we first met. Personally, I wasn't into his looks but his confidence and personality. When we hung out, I felt relaxed with him and it was always a lot of fun. One night after heading home from the bar, I stopped by his apartment for food. One thing led to another and we made-out, the pants came off and I came all over his childhood teddy bear. I thought it was hilarious. He did not.

We would end up hooking up a few more times, but it was never serious. I made it clear that I wasn't looking for a relationship and he was Ok with that. I had learned the lesson that dating every gay person you get along with leads to not having any gay friends. Our fooling around would also become the run-on joke of our gay group.

I don't see any of them these days (which is the part to another story), but I have good, fond memories of them. They would definitely make that next year of my life fucking awesome.