Lots of Crotches

About a year and a half ago, Alicia started her own little photography project. I don't know why this came into being, but the project consists of her taking individual photos of her friends' crotches. Each picture goes from the person's stomach to whatever part of their legs or feet that fit in. Each person cannot be wearing pants.

Alicia's quasi-boyfriend...he didn't want his wang showing

I really have absolutely no idea why she thought of this or why she decided it was a good idea with which to follow-through, but she has shown me her collection thus far and it's actually pretty cool. Lots' O' Crotches. Each person seems to do their own this stance or pose, so each one looks very different. Obviously, everyone wears their own styles of underwear as well, which adds to variety.

I love this, because it kinds looks like this girl has a penis

She took my picture one evening when she pulled me away from the main room of a party, devoted to a sham-wedding. I wore my average ol'boxers of the time, along with my ever-so-fancy/ultra-ugly shirt to commemorate the fake marriage and cake-eating. As I recall, my oldest brother gave it to me for Christmas, a few years ago, saying "I saw this shirt and thought it was so damn ugly that I had to get it for someone - so here". Thanks oldest brother.

My legs are SO not that skinny anymore...or at least I think

So why am I recounting this? Well, every time I think of underwear (which, I don't know...happens on the occasion...) two things come into my mind: Number 1 is Alicia's future wall full of pictures of crotches & underwear. Number 2 is of how I hate Little Boy underwear.

What do I mean by Little Boy underwear? Well, those tightey-whiteys, that aren't necessarily actually white, that are ULTRA tight and have become some sort of fashion item or sexy/fetish apparel? American Apparel anyone? Ginch Gonch? Ya, those.

I HATE 'EM.
Ok, ok...maybe that's too strong of an expression. I definitely don't hate them as much as being called a pet name.

This is how it makes sense in my head:
The image of an adult (anyone above 18) wearing tight little underwear = makes me think of 6 year olds, who are actually meant to wear said underwear = which then mentally links the idea of adults and little kids = which is automatically translated to pedophilia.

So to me, Little Boy underwear = pedophilia.

Obviously, that's not true. But I can't help but think that. The last time I saw some 20-something year old guy at a gay club wearing only Little Boy underwear, who then said to me "Don't I look seeeeexxxxxxyyyy?", made me want to vomit everywhere. Well, not literally, but almost. "OH FUCK NO", was probably my drunken reply to him.

I suppose in reality, it's all really a sliding scale. Not all Little Boy underwear creeps me out. Let's say if the colour is completely black, I'll probably think it looks hot. Ya, the actual guy wearing the underwear would also sway me. Example of said exception: below


I'd say my favorite general type of underwear would be the boxer-briefs. Nothing can go wrong with those! The butt and crotch look so great with them AND the person (a.k.a. me) can walk around all their friends and family without worrying about their junk accidentally falling out. Boxer-briefs are slowing replacing my collection of boxers.

So there we have it.

Recap:
Little Boy underwear = bad.
Sham wedding = good.
Briefs = better.
Alicia's crotch photo collection = amazing.